Emotions, worry, self-care, messiness, perfectionism

Winning Ways; Friends/Co-workers/Colleagues

Everyone loves a kind, uncomplaining, sympathetic, cheerleader of a friend and that’s you, sweet enchantress. People don’t love us because we are successful in our carers. They love us for how we make them feel when they are with us. Learn these winning ways to gain respect and love.

  1. Be generous with affection and praise – hardly anyone gets enough-lavish them with compliments. Just saying something nice, even if you don’t mean it down to the core of your being, will have a good effect as long as it’s not a total lie.
  2. Listen – This is the greatest gift you can give people. Don’t jump in-let them go on,.
  3. Be unfailingly nice to underlings – If the boss loves his assistant, and you’re nice to her, perhaps she’ll put in a good word for you. She may become Vice President someday and in charge of whatever it is you do for living. Being nasty to subordinates is the mark of a true jerk.
  4. Never carry a grudge –  never carry one a minute longer than you absolutely must. Wasting energy on enmity is debilitating – meanwhile, the person you are so busy hating is basking on a Caribbean beach or watching The Bachelor.
  5. Don’t ever play “Can you Top This?” Avoid name-dropping, place dropping, or how-much-this cost-dropping. People can tell you’re bragging, and this can mark you as an insecure person. If you find yourself bragging, just stop in the middle of a sentence. This is far better than revealing the enormous vastness of your insecurity.

More Winning Ways

  1. Be supportive – I’m so proud that you stopped smoking…rewrote your resume….started exercising….stopped talking about your ex-husband…..
  2. Have an entire conversation without complaining about a single thing. People will notice something’s missing. They won’t know what it is, but they’ll find their encounter with you inexplicably pleasant. Whining and complaining are not winning.
  3. Don’t put down anyone’s hero. If you know someone admires someone that you despise, please don’t start telling that person how much you dislike that person they admire.
  4. Don’t be shy. If you do reach out, sometimes you’ll be rebuffed and sometimes you won’t, but the rewards of taking a chance are infinitely more pleasing than the safety of doing nothing.
  5. Apologize. When contrition is called for…say, It’s my fault and I’m sorry.” So few people can do this, it knocks people out.

Even More Winning Ways

  1. Avoid giving the impression that your life is perfect. Many people find this less winning than whining and complaining,.
  2. Get on with it. A person who is having exactly the same problems she had four years ago is not a winner.
  3. Play fair at parties. Don’t ask someone a complicated question like “Can you please explain the national debt to me?” and then wander off for something to eat.
  4. Don’t ignore sticky emotional situations. Are you having a problem with a co-worker, friend, relative or lover? Don’t do nothing and hope the trouble will resolve itself.  Bring it out in the open and square things as soon as possible. Many people can’t do this, so they’ll appreciate it very much if you do. Otherwise grievances can pile up and poison a relationship.
  5. Be sympathetic. Don’t tell a trigging wronged friend. “There are two sides to every story.” And then explain the one she’s not on. She may hit you.
  6. Don’t agree with self-criticism. If a friend says she feels like a food because she did something dumb, don’t say, “Yes, that does sound dumb.” Unless she’s laughing. No, come to think of it, not even then
  7. Open presents right away. People want to see how you like their gift: they’ll be hurt if you put it away to open later.

With these winning ways, you can welcome more love into your life from family, friends, and co-workers.  Love really does make the world a nicer place to be.

love for Valentine's Day