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regret, thinking, decisions

Thinking It Through

By asking yourself, “Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking it through?” will help you make good decisions. Bad decisions cost you time and money. In my previous articles, we discussed the first two parts of that question. Now, let’s discuss thinking it through.

The older and wiser you is your best mentor. Let’s examine our past decisions. Looking closely at our past decisions will teach us more than any mentor can teach us.  Are you ready to learn how to think it through to come to a better decision? How many of us think it through when it comes to dating?

In my counseling office, I ask my clients, “Would you want your daughter to be dating someone like him?” or “Does he make good father material?” For the first time, my clients begin to think it through on whether he or she is a good match.

In the dating arena, so many of us think if it feels good, it’s a good decision. When we first meet someone and we have chemistry. The chemistry is not love. It is lust.

Love and Dating

Love requires us to think about it. Is this person admirable and respectable? Does this person have good morals and values? Will this person make a good spouse? We need to think it through before we start to let lust take over.

In order to think it through we need to imagine a situation we find ourselves in and simply ask, ‘Then what would probably happen? Then what? Then what?’ until we think the situation through.

We always need to be alert for danger. These are what we call warning signs, especially in the dating world.  We have all been there and said, “I certainly ignored that warning sign.”

So, before we make decisions, it is useful to take each of your options and ask, “Then what would happen? Then what?”

Corporate Decisions and Thinking It Through

Let me give you an example. Americans began to take note of the environment and started to want smaller cars. The American automobile industry started to decline when oil prices began to rise. The executives did not think through their decision.

The executives made more money on larger cars. Due to the recent public demands for smaller cars, they executives began to make poor-quality smaller cars. They assumed that these unsatisfied customers would return to the larger cars.

However, they did not think it through. The executives did not ask, “If we do not provide what the public wants, then what will happen? Then what?”

The executives left a door open for those who wanted to make high quality smaller cars. Hence, the foreign automobile manufacturers stepped in and took a foothold in the market with high quality small automobiles.

Just like me, many of us switched our allegiance to foreign automobiles and never went back to American automobiles.

This is one good reason to have enough people in an organization to help you think things through before making decisions. The poor decisions can be too costly.


In the dating world, poor decisions can also be costly. Too many of us rely on lust in making our decisions for a spouse. If he feels good, it’s a match.  We need to think it through. We rely on our heart and head.

Let’s decide to court instead of date, which is a much better way to arrive at a good decision for a spouse. Knowing your real need in the dating world is the first step in finding the right match.

Are you looking for marriage? Are you looking for a companion?  When you know your real need, you tell that person right up front your intentions. When we know our real need, we date accordingly.

Dating is to find out if we are a match. We can’t wait for marriage to begin to change a spouse, which I have seen way too many times in my office.

Courting is about thinking it through before any sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy clouds our judgment and is like picking a spouse on cocaine.

Some of us perform cohab-dating, which is even more destructive.  We quickly move in with someone of the opposite sex before we even get to really know him or her, which takes about 2 years.

After we move in with someone, it becomes much more difficult to end a relationship when the warning signs pop up. Women are 300% more likely to be depressed while living with a man.

Good Decisions

In making good decisions, we must remember to “focus on the real need, inform yourself of the options, and thinking it through.  Our best option is the one that will best help you meet your real need.

Do you remember the first step in arriving at a better decision?  We must first say ‘No’ to a poor decisionand stop what is no longer working for us.

Once we have stopped what is no longer working for us, we increase the likelihood of finding a better way. If you are in an unhappy relationship, you end it and increase the likelihood that you will find someone better for you.

If things are going wrong at work, take a step back and stop what is no longer working. You then inform yourself of better options, which may mean consulting with others and gathering information. Then, you need to think it through.

Who decides what “better results” are?  You do. The older and wiser you need to look back on your previous decisions.  You know what were good decisions and what were poor decisions.  You do that by asking yourself, “How well did your results satisfy your need?”

We don’t regret good decisions. The only regret we have about making better decisions is not making them soon enough.

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