Self-doubt is good and bad

All of us are faced with decisions to be made. Change is often scary and the first thing that rushes over us is self-doubt.  Self doubt is a good thing and can also be debilitating.

Self-doubt is a natural and normal part of the human condition. It is a human mechanism; so, we don’t humiliate ourselves. Of course, it may be in overdrive, which won’t allow us to ever express ourselves. The whole point of self-doubt is to rethink a second time to make sure what we are doing is appropriate. William Shakespeare who said, “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

So, if you get to the point of self-doubt that you don’t even try things, it is the culprit, which holds you back. It is a traitor of you. However, having self-doubt, may be a good thing.

I think it’s good to think a second time. But when these inner doubts bubble up, be quick to talk back to yourself and say no no no no…. we have been down this road before. I was worried about this and that and everything turned out okay. It’s good to remind ourselves of how many times when we doubted ourselves, feared something would happen, and that negative thing never came to reality.

Self-doubt can be just monsters in our heads. These monsters can keep us safe within our comfort zones. We don’t want to be in the comfort zone for too long or we will never accomplish anything.

When we talk about our self-doubts out loud to a therapist, friends, family, or minister, we can see how exaggerated our self-doubts may be to us and others. We may also uncover how unnecessarily we are taking ourselves to a bad place.

A lot of times when we doubt ourselves, we look at other people and compare ourselves to them. Don’t compare yourself to someone else. Compare yourself to yourself. For example, six months ago were you able to do what you are doing now. And you say, “Wow, I’ve grown.”

As I mentioned earlier, self-doubt is a mechanism to help us not embarrass ourselves. When we think of other people thinking about us, we have to remember that everyone else out there have kids, jobs, church, friends, and work. These people don’t have time to be thinking about you and how you may have embarrassed yourself.

When someone criticizes you or rejects you, it may not have anything at all to do with you. You do not know what is going on in their lives. The world doesn’t revolve around you.

I think it is important for you to spend a reasonable amount of time reading uplifting books, listening to uplifting tapes, meditation, and productivity. Any time we have a setback, we may have learned something and may need to sharpen our skills. If that’s so, don’t beat yourself up. You need to get better at what it is that you want to improve.

Learn more. Don’t be arrogant and learn more. Bottom line. Don’t be mean to yourself. If someone is mean to you, you can forget about them, move away, and discontinue time with them. If you are mean to yourself, you can’t get away. Stop being so mean to yourself. And party on to a new and confident you.