Identity is “the condition or character traits as to who a person is; the qualities, beliefs, etc., that distinguish or identify a person or thing”. We may still be stuck in an identity that no longer serves us well. It’s time for us to take a step back. It may be time for an upgrade in our identity.
By asking yourself, “Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking it through?” will help you make good decisions. Bad decisions cost you time and money. In my previous articles, we discussed the first two parts of that question. Now, let’s discuss thinking it through.
When my clients are frustrated, I hear, “I am doomed and don’t have a way out.” We are not doomed as long as we have options. The truth is you may not be aware of your options. If you don’t know your options, you have no options. Informed options leads to better decisions.
I grew up in the Midwest. I look back on my life as a series of poor decisions. My life was a bit of a train wreck. The hippies were my mentors. The hippies taught me peace, free love, and great rock and roll. However, I do wish I put more thought into making better decisions. My poor decisions limited my freedom. Making better decisions is a two-part process.
In my office, I often hear clients say, “I’ll try it.” I say, “No, you will do and not try.” When we say try, we open ourselves up for an escape route. We give ourselves an out. As long as we have a choice, we are not doomed. We need to make decisions in our life to become a better you. Decisions are progress.
So many times in my counseling office, I will hear people who have destructive family members say to me, “If I don’t reach out to them and they die, I will regret not trying to make amends.” People want to give bad people a pass if they are sick and dying. I have never heard anyone regret not having a destructive person in his/her life. However, these are the things you will regret.
Do you remember singing telegrams? I had a boyfriend who had just moved to Chicago and I was still back in South Bend, IN. It was Valentine’s Day. I wanted something unique. Looking through catalogues and radio ads (no internet back then), I had such a fun scavenger hunt. Love is magical. I stumbled upon a brand new concept, singing telegrams. On Valentine’s Day, I ordered up a singing telegram for my lover. Gift giving is a sweet tradition of Valentine’s Day.
I had a warm and very wise mother-in-law. She was an intuitive genius; her ideas enlightened me. She told me, “Show me a couple who wants a bigger home and I’ll show you a couple in trouble.” As I have aged, I have seen over and over again that idea materialize. A couple purchases a big house to save their marriage. The couple’s new and bigger house didn’t work to save their marriage. A home or a company, why grow?Read More