Holidays are here and lots of parties are around the corner. What makes someone boring at at a gathering? Boredom means that you have to force yourself to pay attention. Most people, of course, aren’t dreadfully boring. We want to dazzle others in conversation. It’s time to tune up our small talk.
The polish psychiatrist, Andrew Lobaczewski spent his early life suffering under the Nazi occupation of his country. His experience of those horrors led him to develop the concept of “pathocracy” The term describes a political system in which individuals with personality disorders, particularly psychopathy and narcissism, occupy positions of power.
Lobaczewsi devoted his life to studying evil: He wanted to understand why “evil” people seem to prosper while so many good and moral people struggle to succeed. He sought to explore why people with mental disorders so easily rise to positions of power and take over governments.
Personality Disorder of “Pathocracy”
Pathocracy is possibly one of the biggest problems in the history of the human race. History is a saga of constant conflict and brutality. People fighting one another for territory, power and possessions.
The problem is not that all people are inherently brutal and cruel. But, there are a small number-those with personality disorders- who are brutal and cruel. They are intensely self-centered and lacking in empathy. And this small minority has frequently held power and managed to influence the majority to commit atrocities on their behalf.
Power and Pathology
A minority of people suffer from personality disorders such as psychopathy and narcissistic personality disorder. People with narcissistic personality disorder desire constant attention and affirmation. They have an insatiable lust for power. Narcissists feel that they are superior to others and have the right to dominate them. They also lack empathy and are able to ruthlessly exploit and abuse others.
Psychopaths feel a similar sense of superiority and lack of empathy, but they differ from narcissists in that they don’t feel the same impulse for attention and adoration. To an extent, the need to be adored acts as a check on the behavior of narcissists. Narcissists are reluctant to do anything that might make them too unpopular. Psychopaths have no such qualms.
Empathy and Compassion
In contrast, people with a high level of empathy and compassion usually aren’t interested in power. They prefer interacting and connecting with others. They may even refuse the offer of a high-status position. The refusal is because they’re aware that higher status will disconnect them. For a non-empathic person, however, that is part of the job’s appeal.
This leaves positions of power wide open for people with personality disorders, or at least for those with a high level of ambition and ruthlessness.
Throughout history, pathological individuals have consistently risen to the top. Pre-industrial feudal societies restricted them because power was bequeathed by birth rather than attained by individual efforts. The demise of the feudal system was certainly a positive step toward equality and democracy. One negative consequence is that it gave psychopaths and narcissists greater opportunities to attain positions of power.
As Ian Hughes points out in his book Disordered Minds, the whole point of democracy is to try to protect the masses of people from the pathological minority. The American Constitution and the Bill of Rights were established to limit the power of pathological individuals.
Hughes also asserts that pathological leaders hate democracy. Once they attain power, they do their utmost to dismantle or discredit democratic institutions, including the freedom and legitimacy of the press. It was the first thing that Hitler did when he became German chancellor. Vladimir Putin, Viktor Orban of Hungary and President Erdogan of Turkey have done it also.
Moreover, pathological leaders are completely unable to comprehend the principles of democracy, since they regard themselves as superior. They see life as a competitive struggle in which the most ruthless deserve to dominate others.
Pathological Leaders Attract Others with Mental Disorders
Pathocracy isn’t just about individuals. As Lobaczewski wrote, pathological leaders always attract others with mental disorders. They will seize any opportunity to gain influence. At the same times, individuals who are moral, empathic, and fair-minded gradually fall away from such leadership. They are either ostracized or they step aside voluntarily, appalled by the growing pathology around them. As a result, over time, pathocracies tend to become entrenched and extreme.
Not everyone who becomes part of a pathocratic government suffers from a disorder. Some may simply have a high level of ambition and a lack of empathy without having a diagnosable condition. Others may want to ride the coattails of a pathological leader whose goals happen to coincide with their own.
Protection Against Pathocracy
Is the U.S. in danger of being taken over by a pathocratic leader?
Remember that pathocracies emerge only when citizens fail to take sufficient measures to protect themselves from maniacal leaders. In the long term, societies need stringent measures to restrict the attainment of power. All potential leaders, or members of a government, should be rigorously assessed by mental health professionals for empathy, narcissism, selfishness, and psychopathological disorders. In the meantime, we need to preserve and protect democracy from the insatiable passion to control and command. We need to make sure that our democracy does not transmute into a pathocracy.
I recently read an article about a woman whose life was changed in a brief encounter with Warren Buffet. My one and only encounter with my Aunt changed my life in an instant. It’s the emotional memory that leaves an impact on us. It isn’t what is said or what that person does that makes people remember us. It’s how that person makes us feel that leaves am emotional memory. So, what creates that kind of memory?
Nowadays, a five-day, nine-to-five work week is a mere dream for many people in the workforce. In 2018, the Bureau of Labor Statistics found that a staggering 31 percent of people with full-time jobs worked on the weekends, putting in an average of 5.4 hours of work every Saturday and Sunday. All this working and no play can lead to burnout. Are you suffering from burnout?
How do we deal with discouragement? You are trying to achieve a dream. You are really passionate about your project. Things aren’t going well. Someone makes fun of you. You are feeling down on yourself. Something fails and you are in this place where you are so discouraged that you just sit and power binge on Netflix all day. There are four things that can help you deal with discouragement.
What makes a man? The mythology surrounding this question still looms large. So much so that men question their decisions. Do I let my wife know how much something is bothering me or will that come across as not being in control? Do I speak my mind at work or does that risk being seen as too emotional? Here are the 10 biggest falsehoods about men that, when debunked, can lead us to better relationships.
I want to share with you a story about two people sharing a conversation in a film I saw over the weekend. It was thought provoking and wanted to share it with you.
Here it is:
Woman: I don’t believe in God
Man: Me neither; not a religious one at least.
Woman: You believe in A God.
Man: I believe there is a Universal Intelligence. There’s so much precision in the universal law it’s hard for me to believe that something didn’t have a hand in its creation.
Woman: Sixty-Five million years ago, a rock smashed into the rock we currently live on and annihilated most of its species. What is so precise about that?
Woman: It’s all just random. There’s no method or conscious choice. People’s lives mostly happen to them. There’s no guiding force other than the decisions we make. And, there are certainly no insurances in that. It’s a crapshoot at best.
Woman: People have horrible stuff happen to them all the time despite living right. We can do everything right, do all the right things, and work really hard and still never get what we want. Where the heck is God in that?
Woman: What about just being born? Abuse, poverty, and birth defects? I don’t get “you’re screwed” and where is the divine planning in that? Do you think God does it? Any way you slice that pie, I don’t want a piece of it.
Man: Look, I’m not saying I don’t question those things. I do. It makes me angry too. I had a friend once who got sick out of nowhere. The doctors couldn’t figure out what it was. She was in the hospital in and out of consciousness for over a week. And, I was visiting her. She was sleeping. And, I’m sitting there looking at her.
Man: And, I’m telling God to go screw himself in my head. I am literally cursing God out. I’m calling him every name in the book. I was furious that this was happening to her. All that rage finally bottlenecked on me and I started sobbing. And, I’m trying to be quiet, so I won’t wake her. My chest burns, my throat aches and my eyes are slits and this whole time, I’m calling God ever name I can think of under my breath. I’m mumbling curse word after curse word almost like a Buddhist chant at this point.
Man: And, I suddenly feel something. You know that feeling you have when someone is staring at you? It was just like that only times 10.
Man: I look down and she is staring up at me. She’s looking at me in a way that is hard to articulate. It was her but not her. It’s like the purest her. It’s like if her soul suddenly grew eyes. She says, “Energy cannot be created nor destroyed; it is just transformed. This is law. It is infinite. Intelligence is a way of proving that we are eternal.” And, in that moment. I believed it. She was so clear. It was so true in her that it made it undeniable. In that moment, I knew something bigger than me existed. It was real.
Woman: That’s a beautiful idea. But I bet most of the time you don’t believe it.
Man: I lose touch with it all the time. Isn’t that the nature of faith and belief. It doesn’t mean that I’m not going to get afraid or lost or confused. It just means at the end of the day; you have faith to go back to. That knowing that no matter what, no matter how screwed up everything seems to be, things are really ok.
Woman: Can you tell me that most of the time you know everything is okay?
Woman: What happened to the girl that was sick?
Man: She died.
Man: So you believe in nothing.
Woman: I believe that if I want something to change, I better get up and do something.
Woman: At least try.
Man: All by yourself
Woman: All by my lonesome.
Woman: It’s a delusion to think that we aren’t alone and on our own.
Woman: There is a limit to what people are willing to do for you.
Woman: They have their own lives to untangle. And they can’t neglect their lives to better yours. It’s insane to think that.
Man: Do you have any friends?
Woman: I have friends, yes.
Man: If you don’t believe people can help each other, why bother.
Man: Or for that matter, are they really friends?
Man: Friends rely on each other.
Marianne Williamson said in her book, Return to Love, “Sometimes we want a new life a new beginning. We desire a life untainted by any darkness of the past, and being ‘entitled to miracles,’ we are entitled to that full release. This is what it means to say that God washes us clean of our sins. He completely removes all loveless thoughts. We relinquish any thoughts of judgment, of anyone or anything, that hold us to the past. We relinquish any thoughts of attachment that keep us grasping at the future.
To be born again is to let the past go and look without condemnation upon the present. The world of time is not the real world, and the world of eternity is our real home. We are on our way there. We are pregnant with possibilities.”
Follow your passion and you will never have to work another day in your life. Go after your dreams and money will follow. We are bombarded with this notion on a regular basis. I hate to burst your bubble. Practicalities in a career choice are known as survival. Dreams coming to fruition are more of a rare phenomenon.