Identity – It May Be Time For An Upgrade
Identity is “the condition or character traits as to who a person is; the qualities, beliefs, etc., that distinguish or identify a person or thing”. We may still be stuck in an identity that no longer serves us well. It’s time for us to take a step back. It may be time for an upgrade in our identity.
Identity begins to form in our teens. That is why friendships are so important as a teenager. The teens need to identify as part of a group.
Religion is another formation of a group. We form a certain identity with others when we join a religious sector. One of my favorite courses in college was a New Testament course.
After taking this class, I was fascinated to learn how many erroneous ideas and thoughts I had about the New Testament. I had no idea that in the New Testament there were two conflicting stories about the birth of Christ. The Roman Catholic Christmas we celebrate is a combination of those two stories.
In the class, I witnessed the anger of some of the students when the professor challenged their belief system, e.g. identity. The professor told the students that the information he shares with us may or may not be true. He merely said that this is what scholars who study the New Testament believe to be true.
Our identity is part of the interpretation ladder. The ladder looks like this:
Information comes into our brain, e.g. mean mother. We then interpret that information, e.g. unsafe. We form an identity, e.g. bad child, we set an intention e.g. protect myself. Our initiatives are then based on these, which state what do we want to do in the world.
It’s important to take a look at this ladder and perform an upgrade. Perhaps your initiatives are too small for you. What more do you need in order to get going on what you would like to accomplish.
Take a look at where your initiatives are coming from. Have the ability to figure things out and honor the struggle.
Giving up stress is a good decision. It doesn’t serve you well.
I often hear, “you don’t understand me,” which is nothing more than the ego taking over. If I can’t understand that person, why should that person even ask for help? The real problem is that his identity is wrong and he can screw up everything in the interpretation ladder.
Some of us identify ourselves as a perfectionist, which gives us an excuse from moving forward in life. However, they need to get the definition of perfectionist correct. Perfection means to perfect and you can’t perfect it until you start it, test it, try it, and test it again, release it, and continue to try to improve it.
Not only can your identity be wrong, your initiative could be wrong too. Does your initiative match this stage in your life? Do you need an upgrade? Are you still acting from that hurt place?
Is your identity at a different age than you are now? You need to give it up and give yourself an upgrade. In my first example in the interpretation ladder, the child’s identity of bad child may still be influencing him/her in the dating world, e.g. intentions. That person may desire connection but pushes others away in order to protect himself/herself. So, instead of dating, Netflix is looking pretty good right now, e.g. initiative.
The two most common traits of high performing people are bold and decisive. Great leaders and visionaries are bold and decisive. Imagine your life if you upgraded your identity to bold and decisive.