Feelings Pain Joy Fear Rage Love
From the first moment we come into this world, we feel. We feel joy, fear, rage, and love. We learn to hide the feelings that frighten us. First we hide our feelings from others and then from ourselves. Many of us live our lives distant from our deepest feelings and never stop to wonder what would happen if we allow ourselves to feel them fully. And to express our feelings and share them with the world.
Our feelings are nothing more than action signals. Our feelings have no IQ and can be irrational. If we feel jealousy, we may need to work harder to get what he/she has acquired.
Sometimes our feelings scare us. That fear can prevent us to act on our feelings, which can only delay the pain and waste precious years of our lives.
Feelings and The Love Drug
My daughter is in high school. She recently broke up with a boyfriend. Periodically, she would break out in tears at a moments notice. She rattled off her calendar for the weekend. She said, “Good, I’ll be busy most of the weekend, which will help me forget about all this.” She came into my room at 9 pm and asked me if she could go out to a party. I said, “Absolutely not. You can’t keep running from the pain. It’s a school night and you need to be in bed.”
The love drug is powerful. Research says that love lights up our brain like cocaine. After my first break up, I was nauseous, couldn’t sleep and completely lost my appetite. All of these symptoms are very similar to drug withdrawal symptoms. A love breakup is a chemical withdrawal.
Why are feelings so difficult to manage? So, what do we do with these painful feelings after a breakup?
Delaying the Pain and Waste Precious Time
I had a girlfriend who saw big problems with her lover and still married him. She was afraid of the pain of a breakup. She was afraid of how much it would hurt to be without him. I mean breaking up with someone you love even if it is for the right reasons is so incredibly hard. The pain of it can make you reconsider your opinion. She thought by marrying him she could avoid the pain. Of course all she ended up doing is delaying it.
She suffered through years of marriage and a difficult divorce rather than do the one thing that she should have done. The one thing we have to do. That one thing is nothing.
You say it’s that easy. It’s not easy at all to do nothing. No, it’s not. You hurt and you hurt and you live with it. You sit in it and you suffer until it stops. Until time takes it away.
Sometimes the only way to move forward is to stand still. You decide that no matter what happens, you are exactly where you need to be…..