Evaluation Tool for Tough Decisions
At one time, I was considering medical school, which is a tough decision. Science and Biology were already my passion in school. I started to think of my life style as a doctor. An emergency situation would occur, the beeper goes off, and you, as the doctor, head out to attend to a patient. It didn’t matter whether or not your child was celebrating a big event. A patient called and you had to leave. I decided against going to medical school. It was not a lifestyle for me. If you are coming upon a big decision, I have an evaluation tool that may help you with that tough decision.
At a workshop with Brendon Burchard, he unveiled this evaluation tool, which looks like this; Terms < ROI + FV + L + PD
Terms are defined below.
T = Time
E = Energy
R = Resources
M = Money
S = Sanity
ROI = Return on Investment
FV = Future Value
L = Life Style
PD = Personal Development (Does this serve who I want to become or not)
In one of my previous articles, Goal Setting – How Much Pain Will You Tolerate?, I discussed how we need to understand the terms before we go out and try to accomplish a dream of ours. If I would have become a doctor, I would not have been able to be home on a regular basis for family dinners at 6pm, which wasn’t a lifestyle I wanted.
Besides lifestyle, we have to understand the other components to the evaluation tool. When dating a man, does he provide a future value and personal development you desire? Will this man help you become the woman you want to be in life?
Whether it is selecting a spouse or a career, these decisions are big decisions. This evaluation tool is a good way to see if you are thinking clearly.
Evaluate for Personal Development
The terms of the decision need to be less than the return on investment + future value + lifestyle, and + personal development. When I was at Brendon Burchard’s workshop, he said that he has been asked many times to be on several different reality TV shows. Yes, these shows would have given him some great exposure. He turned them down. He said that these shows did not serve who he wanted to become and these shows would have made him “crazy.”
Just as Bandon stated, sometimes things can sound really good but those reality TV shows would have been serving someone else’s agenda. These shows did not match who he wanted to become but would satisfy a need, which is more exposure.
We need to stay on our own agenda and not get off track in meeting other people’s agendas. Recognize false emergencies. Others who request as soon as possible or give you a date to get it done are their agendas and not yours. You want to thank them for the request and let them know the date that works for you.
By not getting caught up in other people’s agendas, we have time to lead others. Saying yes too often to other’s agendas interfere in your ability to accomplish your dream. Yes’s keep you a worker ant and not a leader in accomplishing your dream.
People often say that they have so many fans out there on social media; however, they can’t get them to come to an event. Fans are different from leading them.
Leading Others with Enthusiasm, Expectations, and Action
In order to lead others, we need to create enthusiasm. We need to lead by helping them to understand that it’s not what we want them to do, but it’s what they want to do.
In order to get them to do what they want to do, we need to build enthusiasm. In building enthusiasm, we want to understand people’s expectations. What do people expect to happen and what do they expect to happen next? We need to get others to walk us through their expectations.
An action is always a symptom of the expectation. For example, a client of mine had a son who didn’t want to go to school. I asked the child, “What do you expect will happen today at school?” The child said, “Mommy is going to go to school with me.”
We explained to the child that he goes to school without mommy and he no longer refused to go to school. Remember, an action is always a symptom of the expectation. If an action confuses you, it’s best to inquire what was the expectation.
Relationships don’t have to be hard. We make them hard. People across all cultures want the same thing. People want understanding, validity, respect, and appreciation. We all feel better when we feel heard and loved. We do not want to under estimate the power of listening and adopting a humility stance. If we love someone well, it will certainly make us feel better. Love makes the world go around.