Depression is a sense of powerlessness. What action do you need to take?

Depression Higher Women Action Signal

In the last month, I have had a few women come into my counseling office reporting depression.  Research shows that depression is much more prevalent in women than in men. What is your depression telling you?

Women don’t like to get mad. However, women spend their time wanting to make everything ok and they don’t take care of business. In general, women are too passive and not proactive.  They don’t handle things and become depressed.

Why Women Suffer More Depression Than Men

Depression comes from a sense of powerlessness. Depression is a sign of not taking care of business in their personal, professional lives or both. We all know what we are not taking care of and the things we let slide at our own expense.

Many women will choose not to take care of business because they don’t want to upset others. If they upset others, they fear that they will loose their spouse or lover. Unfortunately, that leads to bad choices, which ultimately leads to depression.

Many women don’t know how to take care of business. First, women try to orally articulate what needs to get done or fixed. Next, they get angry and punish those who do not listen. One way that women may punish a spouse or lover is withdrawing sex from their relationship. Next, they may stonewall and ignore those that don’t listen. Or, they may complain to their friends. Sometimes, women may take out their anger on other people.

Let’s face it. We are more emotional than men. And, research shows women are more intuitive. Emotions aren’t bad. However, emotions are not smart and do not have an IQ. Emotions are nothing more than action signals.

Symptoms of Depression Include the Following:

  • Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
  • Loss of interest in pleasure in activities, including sex
  • Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
  • Feelings of Guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
  • Sleeping too much to too little, early morning waking
  • Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
  • Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down”
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
  • Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
  • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

In my experience as a counselor, women will notice things that aren’t good in their romantic relationship and completely ignore it. Women ignore problems in their relationship because they say things like, “I just want to be married and I don’t want to be alone” and “I love him.” Then, they get married and hope that some magic will happen and everything will be okay. We need to acknowledge the problems in the relationship and if you don’t, you will be divorced.

Warren Buffet said that one of the most important things we can do for our financial well being is to pick a good spouse. On that note, we need to make sure we have a good spouse and not a fixer upper. When you get married, you should accept and love him/her for who they are and not who you wish they would become. You should acknowledge everything your partner is and accept him/her as who they are. If you don’t and marry anyway, you have no right to ever complain about it after you are married.

If you are depressed, the first step you may need to take is like the last scene of the film Network.  You should say, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.” What is your depression telling you? Do you need to take action?

What is your depression telling you?