Breaking up is hard to do. When I was younger, we didn’t have the capabilities to break up via text messaging or via email. Most of us would like to have the respect and dignity of a face to face breakup. Your lover doesn’t return your phone call, your email or your text messages. You’ve not only been dumped, you’ve been ghosted.
So many times in my counseling office, I will hear people who have destructive family members say to me, “If I don’t reach out to them and they die, I will regret not trying to make amends.” People want to give bad people a pass if they are sick and dying. I have never heard anyone regret not having a destructive person in his/her life. However, these are the things you will regret.
Do you remember singing telegrams? I had a boyfriend who had just moved to Chicago and I was still back in South Bend, IN. It was Valentine’s Day. I wanted something unique. Looking through catalogues and radio ads (no internet back then), I had such a fun scavenger hunt. Love is magical. I stumbled upon a brand new concept, singing telegrams. On Valentine’s Day, I ordered up a singing telegram for my lover. Gift giving is a sweet tradition of Valentine’s Day.
A new year is a great time to do some goal setting and see where we want to go in 2018. Goal setting is an act of selecting a target that you want to accomplish. I think there is a better way to set a goal. We need to be realistic. You might be thinking, “This year, what do I want to achieve?” Instead, we need to contemplate “What kind of pain am I willing to tolerate?”