valentine's day and love where time stands still

Time Stands Still Elusive Events

Waiting for something good to happen, time can drag on by. A child grows up and time can pass in the blink of an eye. Is time real?  I read that time is nothing more than a theory. It’s a way for scientists to track the earth’s rotation. There are those moments elusive of the science of time.

Friday night I went to go see the Las Vegas production of The Beatles Love. The show was a moment transcendence of time. The Beatles were alive. I was slow dancing at Beiger Junior High School to the song Hey Jude. I was at camp listening to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. The elderly woman sitting next to me was surprised that after all these years, she remembered all the words to the song.

Nonsense or Reality

Time – I mean we live in a world where we have to define this sort of thing, don’t we, as nonsense or reality? If an event like time isn’t anything more than a theory, shouldn’t it be disregarded entirely?

The answer is no. We don’t have to choose one and dispense with the other. This is not a world of binary opposites. We just choose to live that way. There is more to this world than we know. The most rational response might be the thrill of exploring it. We can see events that are nonsense as events that could really be so.

An event where someone heals themselves of an incurable disease could really be so. In this culture, when a claim carries the implication of nonsense, we are quick to disregard it. And on the opposite end, when a scientific finding undercuts our spiritual belief , we dismiss it.  We need to balance the spiritual and the science of all things.  One does not have to dismiss the other.

Religion and Science

Religion and science don’t have to dismiss each other.  The question is whether or not we’re prepared to accept a world in which science and spirituality really do serve each other.

The big Ghost, of course, hovering at the back of this discussion, is God. Human beings are always fighting about which version of God to worship, or whether any God exists at all. But it seems to me we are only likely to find answers about the nature of the universe, or the possibility of a creator, if we look.

And, we can’t do that in any meaningful way if our only commitment is to the answers we’ve presupposed. We shouldn’t snicker at the paranormal. We shouldn’t snicker at the possibility that God, or something like Him, might show up in our search. Also, we shouldn’t snicker at science. Then, the field of opportunities lie before us. The war between science, the paranormal and God is over. What we get in return is the thrill of a “free and rigors” inquiry into the true nature of reality and what it means to be human.

Valentine’s Day

The sweet and tender of all human emotions is upon us. The day to celebrate that emotion is February 14th. Here are 5 suggestions to help you celebrate Valentine’s Day.

  1.  Get outdoors and love nature – Take yourself or someone special for a picnic lunch in the park, or grab a bottle of wine for a romantic sunset hike.
  2. Volunteer and give back to your community – help share the love with those who need it most this Valentine’s day by volunteering your time or help, with friends, or with your SO.
  3. Evening activities, unplugged – Unplug all devices and screens to reconnect with ourselves and those around us. You can breakout the glue sticks, beads, construction paper, crayons and a bottle of wine for a cozy night of arts and crafts and let the games begin.
  4. Plan a retreat together.  Book a spontaneous adventure with your new bestie or lover.  Choose your favorite epic destination and get ready to have the time of your lives together.
  5. Radical self care spa day (diy or not) – A soothing day of self care (whether alone or shared with someone special) is just what the doctor ordered in the middle of the winter season.

Time may help scientists understand the earths rotation.  But, love truly makes the world go around.  And, love is elusive of time; time truly stands still.

Valentine's Day Love, romance, dating, dating apps, online dating,

Valentine, romance, love, online dating, dating,

Valentine – Learn New Dating Rules

When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that any single person would be a fool to not follow them. However, dating has changed. Hello, “Internet.” There’s a better way to date and find a sustainable love match. Is he your Valentine?

Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: If you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. The rules single people follow need a little revamping. To that end, I’ve researched and found some up-to-date tactics for finding someone that may be a match for you.

Old Rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds
New Rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates

“Love at first sight” is a familiar romantic notion. Experts recommend cultivating a bit more patience, sticking to a three-date minimum to know for sure whether you’re a match (or not). The reason: People are a bundle of nerves on date #1, begin to unwind on date #2, but only by date # 3 can people truly relax and maybe build some rapport.

A compatible relationship is an exploration of each partner’s values. In order to learn just that it takes time, discussion, observation, interpersonal interaction, and not an initial impression based on superficial cues. So don’t write someone off-or fall head over heels until you have done your due diligence.

Old Rule: Your mate must meet the criteria on your “must list.”
New Rule: A “must list” looks great on paper, but paper won’t keep you warm at night.

You can check off the attributes you want, appearance, background, education, career, and salary, but unless you’re building your lover in a lab, you are missing out.

You should have standards and not settle for a two-pack-a-day smoker who doesn’t want children when you’re allergic to smoke and eager to start a family. Besides a man that is 6’2″, blonde, and makes six figures doesn’t mean he will make you happy. Do yourself a favor and treat your list as just one factor in deciding who’s right for you. Relying on physical or material attributes like someone’s height, salary, or hair color doesn’t allow for chemistry, which is more intangible and valuable.

Old rule: Your date’s Spotify list mirrors yours – so this must be love
New Rule: You want a person, not a Spotify playlist

Sometimes you meet someone and have so much in common, you know it must be love: Each of you saw Billy Joel (one of my favorites) a dozen times and know the words of Bruno Mars (another good one) inside out. But don’t confuse mirror-image taste with chemistry. It is better if your interests don’t match up exactly. Not only does that leave room for you to expand your boundaries, it introduces you to something new that your partner digs. Some of the best relationships are those where both parties have completely independent hobbies and allow for his, her and our time. So, take it as a good sign if you spend the occasional time apart. You can be doing dips in your ballroom dancing class and your date is doing the wave at an NBA game.

Old Rule: Opposites attract
New Rule: Opposites distract

Sustaining a partnership with your polar opposite may ultimately prove unfulfilling. If you don’t like to do the same things, your life may be quite dull together. In real life, attraction can ebb and flow. And if you don’t want the same things for the future, what kind of future do you have. Ideally it should be someone who complements your personality.

When I was younger, I never wanted to date a doctor. I wanted someone there with me on holidays and mealtime. I didn’t want him being called away on emergencies during the middle of Christmas. It’s about a lifestyle that works with your lifestyle. If you are an extravert and your potential partner is an introvert, your enjoyment as a couple will dissipate rapidly. Because, you won’t be interested in doing the same things in your free time.

Old Rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience
New Rule: Your first kiss is inconsequential

In Fairytales, an amazing first kiss leads to happily ever after-no wonder we place such importance on that primary first kiss. There are ample reasons why a first kiss from a potentially great partner can go awry (nervousness or a less-than-ideal situation). There can be many explanations why a first kiss from a Mr./Ms. Wrong can feel so right (you’ve exceeded the two-drink minimum and you find him physically attractive).

However a relationship will crumble without a good lifestyle and good attributes like shared values. So rather than write someone off following a less-than-mind-blowing kiss, move in slowly for smooch number two, either at that moment or on a subsequent date. Trust me, you owe it to yourself.

Old rule: When It’s true love, you think about this person constantly
New rule: When it’s true love, thinking about this person makes you feel good

Hmm, has Willie Nelson’s “You’re Always on My Mind” become the theme song for how you feel about your sweetie? Constantly thinking about another person isn’t love, it’s infatuation. Infatuation has no correlation with being a good match. It’s a better gauge to assess the quality of your thoughts rather than the quantity. You want comfortable feelings about your date, which indicates a relationship built on stability, trust, and admiration. This kind of a relationship will more likely wear well over time. If your relationship keeps you up all night as you analyze this person’s emails for hidden messages that reveal his or her true feelings, you may be with someone who doesn’t really want to be yours.

Warning; Is he still your valentine?

A word of warning to those in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs and instead pushing your buttons. Those that say, “never find this again and thus” you stay. Or, “I’m 50 years old and I better take what I can get.”

I know it’s hard to be alone. However, our anxiety can’t be the reason to stay. Desperation is unsustainable. You realize you need to make a change, but you’re scared of what that change will mean. I sympathize.

As long as you stay in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs, you’re in a relationship that isn’t meeting you needs. It makes you miserable and it also closes you off to other, potentially more satisfying romantic relationships.

There’s a poem by Adrienne Rich called “Splittings”. The last two lines of the poem are: “I choose to love this time for once/with all my intelligence.” I suggest you devote yourself to these two lines.

The question shouldn’t be whether you should stay or go. The question is, How would your life be transformed if you chose to love this time with all your intelligence? You will be looking for love in all the right places and you will want him to be your valentine.

Love, romance, dating, dating apps, online dating,

affairs, truth, infidelity

Truth Dreams and What Leads to Infidelity?

Have you ever woken up from a dream and felt unsettled? You are embarrassed and think the dream is trying to tell you something. What’s the truth behind that dream? So you push the thoughts the dream conjured up way deep down inside.  That way you won’t see or think or know that those thoughts exist at all.

Dreams are a way for us to discover some truths about ourselves. Truth is like the sun; you can shut it out for a time but it ain’t going away.

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Feelings, Pain, Joy, Fear, Rage, Love, relationships, breaking up,

Feelings Pain Joy Fear Rage Love

From the first moment we come into this world, we feel. We feel joy, fear, rage, and love.  We learn to hide the feelings that frighten us. First we hide our feelings from others and then from ourselves. Many of us live our lives distant from our deepest feelings and never stop to wonder what would happen if we allow ourselves to feel them fully.  And to express our feelings and share them with the world.

Read More, orgasm, sex, love, connection, lust, romance

Orgasm Eyes Open Contact Sex

There are married couples that no longer kiss much during sex. Couples will bypass the painful emptiness in their kisses and instead focus on touching each other’s genitals. Each of them may achieve orgasm through a mechanical like quality in their physical exchanges in the bedroom. Couples often miss what it’s like to have true intimacy while achieving orgasm. Couples with their eyes wide open during sex may have a brand new sizzling sex life.

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Love Quiz; How well do you know your spouse?

Surprise! We had a surprise birthday party for my son. His emotional outpouring let me know how truly touched he really was for this party.   The party theme was around his nickname growing up, which was Jama Man. He achieved that nickname due to the amount of hours he would spend in his jammies. Jama Man is a nickname that only our family would know.   Do you have a nickname for your spouse that only you would know? Do you really, really know your spouse?

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Romantic Obsession

Romantic Obsession; What Makes a Stalker?

In 7th grade, the girls and I were swooning over a teacher, Mr. Signorino. We had a romantic obsession with Mr. Signorino. We even had a song about him. The song was an adaptation from the last verse of the song from West Side Story, Gee Officer Krupke. The parody of that song we created went like this, “Mr. Signorino, we’re down on our knees, because no one wants a teacher with a social disease. Gee Mr. Signorino what are we to do. Mr. Signorino, we love you.”  Are you romantically obsessed?

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